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13. Sensitive Guy
Look at that majestic rock Look at those majestic trees and stuff Everything is so majestic when you’re a sensitive guy Magical rain from above All the little drops of water sing a melody of love Cause...
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12. Double Dragon (Todd Gets Facekicked)
Gonna walk from side to side And then I'll kick some people in the face And I'll save my girlfriend from being raped That would be great When I think I killed them all Out from the wall will pop my...
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11. The Thing Is (what is that thing?)
Right now it’s difficult to talk to you I find it very hard to look you in the eyes And I can’t seem to make this work no matter how I try Don’t ask me why If you ask me why then I’ll say Hey now...
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10. Raw Gay Panda Meat
I don’t eat chicken I don’t eat fish I don’t eat bread And I never eat cheese The only thing that goes in me Is dairy, carbo, sulfate, gluten free And it better roam free And I don’t want it cooked And...
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9. Lady in the Pit
It’s been a long time It’s been such a very long time Since I killed a man for fun And it’s a cold night It’s such a very cold night For all my prisoners in the basement Please believe me when I tell...
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8. Bacon Lovesong
Oh do you remember Well I was only 15 Never ever had breakfast before Oh bacon you touched me How I had never been touched Now I’ll never be touched how you touched me like you did I love you bacon I...
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7. Ugly Baby (Baby Fight)
Your ugly baby haunts my dreams Every time I close my eyes I see Ugly baby And I may sound a bit obscene But I don’t trust your baby Ugly baby Deep inside your baby’s eyes there’s evil Evil baby trying...
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6. Dear God
Hey God it’s been a while since I talked to you And I know I probably don’t deserve it But I got a couple things to ask you But I’m not the best with words I guess you already know So I wrote you a...
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5. Happiest Song Ever Made
Since you left me I’ve been doing ok I got blackout drunk Cried until I puked And pissed in my parents’ sock drawer Every day so much better than the last Yesterday I bought a new shirt Today maybe a...
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4. Doucheworm Attacks!
One day I was sleeping outside When a little worm crawled in my ear And latched onto my frontal cortex And paralyzed my mind Then I started doing real douche things Like calling everybody chief And...
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3. How I Care
I love you, I love you, I love you Did I mention I love you I’ve always loved you and I think I always will To show you how much I care I made you a necklace out of pieces of human hair That I...
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2. Helping Out the Poor is Fun
Hello scary homeless guy on the corner Here’s a couple quarters please don’t touch my car Here’s an extra sandwich for your mangy little dog If you’re here tomorrow I’ll probably call the cops Hello...
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1. Oh Shit What?!
Oh shit What I say when I lose my keys What I scream when I’m stung by bees When I break a statue’s penis, like Chunk from the Goonies says Oh shit what What I yell when I stub my toe How I feel when...
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